by Rita E. “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.” ~The Buddha We cannot control the painful experiences we endured as children or mistakes we made in the past, and because we areContinue reading “The second arrow”
Tag Archives: recovery
What is detachment? And how do I let go?
The tool of detachment is a powerful way we can deal with situations that could harm us. It is a choice to disengage emotionally from people or situations. We strive to detach with love for ourselves and others knowing that we are not responsible for the behavior of others and they are not responsible forContinue reading “What is detachment? And how do I let go?”
Serenity Now!
It’s CoDA tool Tuesday and I find myself in a place that requires one of my favorite tools…acceptance. I’m at the DMV. As I walked in with hopefully all the papers needed to do my renewals, I was greeted by a smiling woman who informed me that the wait time would be an hour andContinue reading “Serenity Now!”
Coda Tool Tuesday…CoDA Meetings
This is not a self help program. It’s mutual support. I can read and learn on my own and that’s all fine and dandy but for me, it can’t replace the experience I get in attending regular CoDA meetings. I, like so many, had read Melody Beattie’s book, Co-dependent No More. If that’s all itContinue reading “Coda Tool Tuesday…CoDA Meetings”
CoDA Tool Tuesday…Forgiveness
When I choose not to forgive its like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgiveness is a tool that helps me move forward. I know I don’t do it for the other guy, I do it for me. So I don’t have to carry the baggage anymore. It doesn’t mean IContinue reading “CoDA Tool Tuesday…Forgiveness”
CoDA Tool Tuesday!
There are so many tools to help us in our journey of recovery from codependency. Here’s an excerpt written by the CoDA communications committee just in time for the holidays…. How do codependents take care of themselves during the stress of the holidays? Here are some suggestions: 1. Go to as many meetings as youContinue reading “CoDA Tool Tuesday!”
The Chameleon
Chameleoning. My spell checker doesn’t recognize it. I just hate when we take a noun and use it like a verb…adulting, Googling… It’s just that I have a hard time finding a better word to describe what I do when I change who I am to please someone else, to fit in, to avoid conflict,Continue reading “The Chameleon”
The Falling Star
by DeAnn B. I’m very grateful for my new journey in CoDA. I’m learning acceptance and surrender, about trusting my Higher Power and the light that’s been placed within me to have my own experience, strength and hope that is a joy to share in the fellowship of others.I wrote this in about one minuteContinue reading “The Falling Star”
Choosing the recovery side of the street
by Terrie C I affirm that the codependent behaviors that I learned helped me survive. I honor them. It is also true that they are a dysfunction that keeps me from joy. Now, I wish to live more on the recovery pattern side of the street. Learning takes place from repetition. Especially when old habitsContinue reading “Choosing the recovery side of the street”
Drop the Mask
Have you ever had someone tell you to “be aware of your face”? Have you ever worried that showing your feelings would make someone else feel bad? Have you ever smiled in agreement while silently screaming inside? Have you ever listened to the song, “Put on a Happy Face” and wanted to pull your hairContinue reading “Drop the Mask”