Am I Codependent?

Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of people whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. You may be asking yourself… Am I Codependent? 
Take a look at this list of codependency patterns and characteristics (below) to see which ones you think might honestly apply to you.

Is CoDA right for me?

The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.

CoDA is a non-professional fellowship and offers no diagnostic criteria for codependence. We provide a list of 55 patterns and characteristics which can help us to identify our codependent behaviors. We believe recovery begins with an honest self-assessment.

Answers to questions like the following can help us determine how we’ve looked to others to provide for our emotional well-being.

• Do I control others to relieve my fears?
• Do I let others to control me for fear of their abuse or neglect?
• Do I adapt or change my behavior for others?
• Do I validate my value and worth as a person through others?
• Do I avoid others in order to feel safe?

What’s the Program of Recovery?

First, attend meetings

What happens at a meeting?

Attending CoDA meetings is a crucial part of the recovery program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, CoDA. Showing up and participating in whatever way we are able is how we grow in CoDA. Attending meetings puts us in contact with other recovering Codependents who share our experience. We discover we are not alone.

Attending meetings begins the process of learning to work the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

Next, share and fellowship

Sharing is our way of identification. We share our experience, strength and hope with others. Through listening and sharing with others in recovery, we find we are not alone. Everyone is given a chance to share but no one is forced to share.

Fellowship can help end the isolation and give you a new sense of belonging. Codependents may get together before, after or outside of meetings to share and socialize. We practice using our new, healthier behaviors with others who are on the journey alongside us. MinnCoDA encourages individuals and groups to plan and participate in Meetups and invite others to join too. Fellowship gives people a chance to ask questions, receive appropriate feedback, develop new skills and have fun!

Explore our Community and Service pages.

Begin working the 12 Steps

12 Steps Workbook

You may be asking yourself, “How do I stop being codependent?” or “Can I recover from codependency?” Applying the 12 Steps and practicing the 12 Traditions helps us to realize many of our problems have a solution. Working the Steps means to use them in a personal program of recovery. The Steps are a suggested program and not a requirement for membership in CoDA. It is through working the Steps that the most progress can be gained. We return to the Steps many times through out our recovery program.

You can work the Steps at your own pace either alone or with a sponsor/co-sponsor or a group. Many of us have found working with others to be helpful in our Step work.

Experience CoDA Sponsorship

Sponsorship in CoDA Pamphlet

Sponsors are recovering codependents who are willing to share their experience, strength and hope with us. They are who we call for help when we are confused or overwhelmed. They can also be friends who work the program with us. Other ways to find sponsorship support include co-sponsorship and group sponsorship. You and another member may co-sponsor each other, sharing what you are learning with each other. Some members have started sponsorship groups which meet regularly to share and work the program.

Sponsoring others in the program is a way to deepen our own recovery, practice good boundaries and other recovery skills.

How is CoDA different than Al-Anon?

Other 12 Step groups, like AA or Al-Anon support people or friends of people who have addictions such as alcohol. CoDA supports people to create healthy relationships starting with themselves, whether or not addictions exist in their lives.

CoDA is a 12 Step Fellowship and peer support group. It aims to create a safe environment for those wishing recovery from dysfunctional relationships, providing anonymity and freedom from judgment or feedback. In CoDA, we share our own experience, strength, and hope. We do not give advice.

What People Say