by Terrie C. The principle of Step 11 is SPIRITUAL AWARENESS. Prayer means asking. Meditation is a form of listening. AWARENESS comes from recognizing that we have had a Higher Power who cares for us, even when we may be not in touch with that knowledge. My experience of prayer is asking the Higher PowerContinue reading “step 11, spiritual awareness”
Category Archives: family dysfunction
Justice
an essay on Step 9 by Terrie C. In the Aqua CoDA book for Step 8 which is the preparation step for making amends it advises that the first person we need to have on our list is ourselves. That we have harmed ourselves the most and been unable to escape ourselves. Yet, what mostContinue reading “Justice”
Love is an ability
I was listening to an interview of meditation teacher and author, Sharon Salzberg this morning. She quoted a line from a movie which said, ‘love is not a feeling, love is an ability”. She went on to ask what if we thought about love primarily as an ability? Sharon explained…That means it’s not in theContinue reading “Love is an ability”
Perseverance
by Terrie C I am a survivor of childhood trauma and also ongoing trauma. In recovery, it has been important to me to acknowledge my successes as well as my mistakes. In the book THE ADDICTIVE ORGANIZATION by Anne Wilson Schaef and Diane Fassel, they describe codependent behaviors as a fatal disease and say, “InContinue reading “Perseverance”
finding personal healing in recovery
Many codependents suffer from the effects of trauma. The tools of co-dependents anonymous along with self-compassion can help the healing process. It is an individual growth process.
The four horsemen of control
Man have I been backsliding into my old friend Control. It’s okay though as most of the world seems to be joining me. I’m watching people doing all kinds of things to try to “stay safe”, protect others…and even police the behavior of people around them. Control patterns are often the first place someone noticesContinue reading “The four horsemen of control”
Life is teaching us
Staying calm in the midst of chaos and uncertainty has not been easy for me in my life. I feel triggered by the circumstances relating to this COVID 19 pandemic. The craziness of it. The isolation. The paranoia. The feeling of scarcity. The confusing and ever-changing information. It reminds me of my childhood. Of myContinue reading “Life is teaching us”
Welcome to Recovery From Codependency | The Phoenix Spirit
I had difficulty in my love relationships, friendships and relationships with co-workers and my family. Everything felt so difficult. Why did I keep getting fired from jobs, even from my own business? Why couldn’t men love me the way I needed to be loved? I know how to fix everyone else’s problems, why can’t I seemContinue reading “Welcome to Recovery From Codependency | The Phoenix Spirit”
CoDA Tool Tuesday…Forgiveness
When I choose not to forgive its like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgiveness is a tool that helps me move forward. I know I don’t do it for the other guy, I do it for me. So I don’t have to carry the baggage anymore. It doesn’t mean IContinue reading “CoDA Tool Tuesday…Forgiveness”
Why can’t I end a bad relationship?
The weird thing about abandonment is that I feel it even if I’m the one ending the relationship. This part of my codependency is a big part of why I tend to stay in harmful situations too long. Perhaps you are reading this because you are in a relationship with someone you wish would change. Continue reading “Why can’t I end a bad relationship?”