“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step 9 Many people find this step… challenging. Fortunately, in CoDA, we have a method for making amends. It helped me to hear someone say at a meeting, “you don’t apologize to the Constitution, you amend it”.Continue reading “Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies”
Category Archives: people pleasing/approval seeking
Breaking the barrier of perfectionism
I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.
Benefits of Attending CoDA?
By John R. Three immediate and huge benefits for attending a Co-Dependents Anonymous Meeting: *Look it up. Don’t expect me to do your work.
Loving Myself Back Into Wholeness
Bringing Compassion to our Personal Inventory by Charlie B I am Charlie, and I’m still recovering from the codependent survival patterns I learned so well in childhood. I’m also grateful I’ve come so far! So many of the program promises have come true for me in so many good ways! Yet I still have muchContinue reading “Loving Myself Back Into Wholeness”
The Chameleon
Chameleoning. My spell checker doesn’t recognize it. I just hate when we take a noun and use it like a verb…adulting, Googling… It’s just that I have a hard time finding a better word to describe what I do when I change who I am to please someone else, to fit in, to avoid conflict,Continue reading “The Chameleon”
Why can’t I end a bad relationship?
The weird thing about abandonment is that I feel it even if I’m the one ending the relationship. This part of my codependency is a big part of why I tend to stay in harmful situations too long. Perhaps you are reading this because you are in a relationship with someone you wish would change. Continue reading “Why can’t I end a bad relationship?”