Tag Archives: tools of recovery

Step 8

~adapted from the Twelve Steps Handbook of CoDA In this moment, I see the impossible become not only possible, but real.As I forgive myself for my shortcomings, I am able to forgive others, opening the way for a true and lasting change in my behavior.Thank you, God. Step 8 Prayer Made a list of allContinue reading “Step 8”

Breaking the barrier of perfectionism

I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.

Steps 6 & 7

adapted from CoDA’s “12 Steps Handbook” Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”What does it mean to be entirely ready? In CoDA, we learn that it means completely prepared. The first five steps are a large part of that preparation. What we need now is willingness. What areContinue reading “Steps 6 & 7”

Came To Believe

In this moment, I can believe that I am never alone; I can experience the sense of freedom that having a Higher Power offers me. I can remind myself that believing is also an action, and if I am willing to practice it, one moment at a time, I will develop faith. Step Two PrayerContinue reading “Came To Believe”

How do I get a sponsor?

This is a common question in our fellowship. Newcomers to our program often wish to find a sponsor quickly. Some of us in the program have found that sponsorship in CoDA can take many forms and proceeding slowly and carefully is advised. One-to-one sponsorship in our program can be tricky due to the nature ofContinue reading “How do I get a sponsor?“

Feelings wheel

Codependents often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling. In recovery, I am aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between my thoughts and feelings. There are many tools to help as we learn to identify, honor and express our feelings. Here is one some of usContinue reading “Feelings wheel”

hope for healthy relationships

Once upon a time, I became obsessed with a narcissist. All I wanted was for him to commit to me and me alone.  We had so much in common.  I loved him and he loved him.  This was my unconscious pattern.  I’d done it before in my past relationships. I tried everything I could thinkContinue reading “hope for healthy relationships”

The codependent parent trap

Parenting is hard. Being a codependent is challenging. Being a codependent parent is, well… something else. And even better, I find myself faced with the colliding specters of my own menopause and my daughter’s adolescence. The compulsive nature of my behaviors can be frustrating. For many years, I kept falling into a codependent parent trap.Continue reading “The codependent parent trap”