Feelings wheel

Codependents often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling. In recovery, I am aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between my thoughts and feelings. There are many tools to help as we learn to identify, honor and express our feelings. Here is one some of usContinue reading “Feelings wheel”

Starting a Meeting

People start new meetings for many reasons. Some may be isolated from established CoDA meetings because of inconvenient meeting times or distance, or live somewhere with no regional meetings at all. Even those not isolated from existing meetings may wish to start a new meeting, one that meets at a different time or has a different format or focus.Continue reading “Starting a Meeting”

hope for healthy relationships

Once upon a time, I became obsessed with a narcissist. All I wanted was for him to commit to me and me alone.  We had so much in common.  I loved him and he loved him.  This was my unconscious pattern.  I’d done it before in my past relationships. I tried everything I could thinkContinue reading “hope for healthy relationships”

Justice

an essay on Step 9 by Terrie C. In the Aqua CoDA book for Step 8 which is the preparation step for making amends it advises that the first person we need to have on our list is ourselves.  That we have harmed ourselves the most and been unable to escape ourselves.  Yet, what mostContinue reading “Justice”

Journey through the 12 Steps of Codependents Anonymous

— Read on http://www.codatucson.org/ Give a listen to CoDA Founders-Ken and Mary- as they give a talk based on the CoDA Aqua Book. (Event presented to CoDA Tucson Sept 5, 2020 via Zoom)

be true to yourself

by Terrie C. I am a trauma survivor.  I had difficulty feeling like I belonged in my family.  I have struggled most of my life to feel like I belong.  I feel fear in meetings because I choose not to identify myself as a codependent.  And, I know, that to be true to myself, thatContinue reading “be true to yourself”

Step 11-finding my higher power

The principle of Step 11 is SPIRITUAL AWARENESS.  Prayer means asking.  Meditation means listening.  One of the things I love about this step is that it gives permission to define our own Higher Power.  What does my spirit tell me?    Many experiences over the last 40 years of recovery work have brought me giftsContinue reading “Step 11-finding my higher power”

There’s a hole in my sidewalk

Autobiography in Five Short ChaptersBy Portia Nelson Chapter OneI walk down the street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I fall in.I am lost …. I am helpless.It isn’t my fault.It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter TwoI walk down the street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I pretend that I don’tContinue reading “There’s a hole in my sidewalk”

the four horsemen of control

Man have I been backsliding into my old friend Control. It’s okay though as most of the world seems to be joining me. I’m watching people doing all kinds of things to try to “stay safe”, protect others…and even police the behavior of people around them. Control patterns are often the first place someone noticesContinue reading “the four horsemen of control”