by Anonymous MinnCoDA Member “My inner teenager had a dream…”The setting was a dream mix of the caretaker’s house at camp and the current Bass Lake house. There was a lot of beige carpet, and it was mostly daytime with that Minnesota silver daylight. Teenage me was so nervous, alarmed, and angry. She was aContinue reading “A Recovery Dream”
“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step 9 Many people find this step… challenging. Fortunately, in CoDA, we have a method for making amends. It helped me to hear someone say at a meeting, “you don’t apologize to the Constitution, you amend it”.Continue reading “Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies”
I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.
Step 4 requires us to do a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is the step where we begin to see our part in our own lives and relationships. In our inventory we include our behaviors and character defects that have been harmful. This step is not an invitation to be overly criticalContinue reading “Step 4”
In this moment, I can believe that I am never alone; I can experience the sense of freedom that having a Higher Power offers me. I can remind myself that believing is also an action, and if I am willing to practice it, one moment at a time, I will develop faith. Step Two PrayerContinue reading “Came To Believe”
This is a common question in our fellowship. Newcomers to our program often wish to find a sponsor quickly. Some of us in the program have found that sponsorship in CoDA can take many forms and proceeding slowly and carefully is advised. One-to-one sponsorship in our program can be tricky due to the nature ofContinue reading “How do I get a sponsor?“
Codependents often have difficulty identifying what they are feeling. In recovery, I am aware of my feelings and identify them, often in the moment. I know the difference between my thoughts and feelings. There are many tools to help as we learn to identify, honor and express our feelings. Here is one some of usContinue reading “Feelings wheel”
People start new meetings for many reasons. Some may be isolated from established CoDA meetings because of inconvenient meeting times or distance, or live somewhere with no regional meetings at all. Even those not isolated from existing meetings may wish to start a new meeting, one that meets at a different time or has a different format or focus.Continue reading “Starting a Meeting”
Once upon a time, I became obsessed with a narcissist. All I wanted was for him to commit to me and me alone. We had so much in common. I loved him and he loved him. This was my unconscious pattern. I’d done it before in my past relationships. I tried everything I could thinkContinue reading “hope for healthy relationships”
an essay on Step 9 by Terrie C. In the Aqua CoDA book for Step 8 which is the preparation step for making amends it advises that the first person we need to have on our list is ourselves. That we have harmed ourselves the most and been unable to escape ourselves. Yet, what mostContinue reading “Justice”