“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step 9 Many people find this step… challenging. Fortunately, in CoDA, we have a method for making amends. It helped me to hear someone say at a meeting, “you don’t apologize to the Constitution, you amend it”.Continue reading “Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies”
Category Archives: relationships
Breaking the barrier of perfectionism
I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.
Benefits of Attending CoDA?
By John R. Three immediate and huge benefits for attending a Co-Dependents Anonymous Meeting: *Look it up. Don’t expect me to do your work.
hope for healthy relationships
Once upon a time, I became obsessed with a narcissist. All I wanted was for him to commit to me and me alone. We had so much in common. I loved him and he loved him. This was my unconscious pattern. I’d done it before in my past relationships. I tried everything I could thinkContinue reading “hope for healthy relationships”
The Winding Road
– by Beth I don’t know about you, but my life journey feels like it has had so many twists and turns within that I lost sight of what was right or wrong and how to make a decision without feeling any fear that the decision would be the wrong one. Just when I thoughtContinue reading “The Winding Road”
Love is an ability
I was listening to an interview of meditation teacher and author, Sharon Salzberg this morning. She quoted a line from a movie which said, ‘love is not a feeling, love is an ability”. She went on to ask what if we thought about love primarily as an ability? Sharon explained…That means it’s not in theContinue reading “Love is an ability”
The four horsemen of control
Man have I been backsliding into my old friend Control. It’s okay though as most of the world seems to be joining me. I’m watching people doing all kinds of things to try to “stay safe”, protect others…and even police the behavior of people around them. Control patterns are often the first place someone noticesContinue reading “The four horsemen of control”
The Triangle from Hell
Helpful video discussing the victim/perpetrator/rescuer triangle so many of us often find ourselves in.
Loving Myself Back Into Wholeness
Bringing Compassion to our Personal Inventory by Charlie B I am Charlie, and I’m still recovering from the codependent survival patterns I learned so well in childhood. I’m also grateful I’ve come so far! So many of the program promises have come true for me in so many good ways! Yet I still have muchContinue reading “Loving Myself Back Into Wholeness”
the power of connection
Studies have revealed that human connection can ease pain and reduce the symptoms of stress.