“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step 9 Many people find this step… challenging. Fortunately, in CoDA, we have a method for making amends. It helped me to hear someone say at a meeting, “you don’t apologize to the Constitution, you amend it”.Continue reading “Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies”
Category Archives: tools of recovery
Step 8
~adapted from the Twelve Steps Handbook of CoDA In this moment, I see the impossible become not only possible, but real.As I forgive myself for my shortcomings, I am able to forgive others, opening the way for a true and lasting change in my behavior.Thank you, God. Step 8 Prayer Made a list of allContinue reading “Step 8”
Breaking the barrier of perfectionism
I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.
Steps 6 & 7
adapted from CoDA’s “12 Steps Handbook” Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”What does it mean to be entirely ready? In CoDA, we learn that it means completely prepared. The first five steps are a large part of that preparation. What we need now is willingness. What areContinue reading “Steps 6 & 7”
The Nature of Our Wrongs
Step 5 states… “Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” So taking from CoDA’s Twelve Steps Handbook and recapping where we’ve been: Let’s clarify a couple of words in that last one.1. Nature: The dictionary defines Nature as… “The forces and processes that produce and controlContinue reading “The Nature of Our Wrongs”
Have Your Way
by a recovering co-dependent 🙂 This song by Britt Nicole helped me when I was new to recovery and going through a difficult time in my life. I was learning how to develop trust in a Higher Power. Surrender was unfamiliar to me. Fear of the unknown future was paralyzing. The lyrics, especially in theContinue reading “Have Your Way”
Step 4
Step 4 requires us to do a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is the step where we begin to see our part in our own lives and relationships. In our inventory we include our behaviors and character defects that have been harmful. This step is not an invitation to be overly criticalContinue reading “Step 4”
Benefits of Attending CoDA?
By John R. Three immediate and huge benefits for attending a Co-Dependents Anonymous Meeting: *Look it up. Don’t expect me to do your work.
Figure It Out is Not a Step
The promise of our program is that when we are diligent in working the program, we will achieve recovery over personal problems of codependence. This occurs differently for everyone. A common denominator is that codependents who work and follow the program increase their own spirituality. Adapted from the Newcomer’s Handbook “I just need to figureContinue reading “Figure It Out is Not a Step”
Came To Believe
In this moment, I can believe that I am never alone; I can experience the sense of freedom that having a Higher Power offers me. I can remind myself that believing is also an action, and if I am willing to practice it, one moment at a time, I will develop faith. Step Two PrayerContinue reading “Came To Believe”