by Karen D (from 2022 ICC) Co-Dependents are famous for having unequal partners. Promise 6: I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners. This info was adapted from a workshop held at CoDA’s annual convention in 2022by Karen D called “Take My Advice, I’m NotContinue reading “Levels of Friendship”
Author Archives: RM
Self-love is not selfish
Trust
It can be challenging to manage codependency at this time of year. Step 12 reminds us to practice these principles in all our affairs. Using the tools of the program we can navigate the waters ahead. With our Higher Power and our recovery community, we can face new challenges with courage and self-acceptance. We remember we are caredContinue reading “Trust”
Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Step 12 What is the message? As Melody Beattie puts it, “our message is one of hope, love, comfort, health – a better way of life,Continue reading “Step 12”
Step 11
Hmmmm… Why a picture of a plug in an outlet? Keep reading. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. Step 11 In Step 3 we made a decision to turnContinue reading “Step 11”
Practice Non-resistance
Surrender only hurts until we do it. Life is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to. Can I accept and allow instead of resisting? Can I practice with the small things?… the feeling I don’t want to feel… what I need to do next… uncertainty… aloneness…? Pain x Resistance = Suffering Pain is a partContinue reading “Practice Non-resistance”
Step 10
In this moment, I live my life in a new way.As I continue to open my heart and mind, little by little,one day at a time, I reveal my true self, mend my relationships,and touch God. Step 10 Prayer The 10th Step Prayer is my favorite one of the 12. What a hope-filled affirmation ofContinue reading “Step 10”
Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies
“Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step 9 Many people find this step… challenging. Fortunately, in CoDA, we have a method for making amends. It helped me to hear someone say at a meeting, “you don’t apologize to the Constitution, you amend it”.Continue reading “Step 9-Amends Are Changes Not Apologies”
Step 8
~adapted from the Twelve Steps Handbook of CoDA In this moment, I see the impossible become not only possible, but real.As I forgive myself for my shortcomings, I am able to forgive others, opening the way for a true and lasting change in my behavior.Thank you, God. Step 8 Prayer Made a list of allContinue reading “Step 8”
Breaking the barrier of perfectionism
I’m a double winner of sorts…recovering co-dependent and a recovering perfectionist.
Codependents often are other-focused. We often care too much about what others think about us. We believe the lie that our value comes from outside ourselves so it’s important to us that we appear perfect.