100 % of the time, when I am triggered by a person, place or thing, it is because of me.
The source of the trigger lies within me.
~ Terri Cole
Many of us talk in terms of “being triggered”. Often we want to avoid being triggered or triggering someone else. I have learned over time that recovery is not about not being triggered. Instead, when I am triggered, it is an opportunity to heal something that is unhealed within me. When we bring awareness to any difficult situation, we can choose to do things differently so that we don’t react in habitual ways.
Recovery teaches us to be mindful of what triggers our strong desire to escape, to grab our addiction of choice and run for the hills. It is not about judging these impulses or making oneself wrong for having them; it is about noticing them as they arise. I have a strong, protective part of me I refer to as my “runaway driver”. When it prompts me to remove myself from a harmful situation, it is helpful. When it takes over and causes me to run away instead of communicate in healthy ways, it can be destructive.
Now I choose to tune in when I am triggered. It’s time to take a deep breath and do my best to stay present, allowing myself to feel what I’d rather avoid. Mindfulness helps me connect with what is happening inside my body and where I may be experiencing tension. I can take a moment to sense what is really happening inside before I try to change what goes on outside.
It is still uncomfortable to experience a trigger but I don’t have to walk around fearing it or avoiding people or situations in an attempt to prevent being triggered. I understand I have many ways I can cope including…
- Calling a recovery friend or attending a meeting
- Journaling
- Exercise or yoga
- Prayer and meditation
When I want to run is when I most need to stay present and aware.
For those with PTSD or other disorders that impact daily life, seeking professional therapy such as EMDR, DBT or other trauma-focused therapies may help.
I usually leave when I am triggered. But I like this suggestion to work through the triggger and stay present. however, when my son is yelling at me I can only stay present for so long. I must remove myself and not allow it.
Thanks for the comment! Sounds like good boundary setting. You deserve respect and consideration from those around you.