By Dana T.
Self-compassion and Self-Kindness –
What are our beliefs surrounding the practice of self-compassion and kindness towards ourselves? For many, there’s a belief that the harsher we are on ourselves, the safer we’ll be. Consequently, we often feel resistance when attempting to extend kindness and compassion to ourselves. It’s crucial to be aware of this belief and consider replacing it with a more empowering internal narrative: When I am kind and compassionate to myself, I naturally attract kind and compassionate people and situations into my life.
The relationships and circumstances we encounter often reflect the quality of our relationship with ourselves. It’s worth pondering: Does illness manifest in my life as a signal to slow down and show myself gentleness? This awareness can lead to a deeper understanding of how our internal dialogue and self-treatment influence our overall well-being and the dynamics of our external experiences.
Inner Child –
How were we treated by our primary caregivers during childhood?
Did we feel a sense of safety to truly be ourselves?
Were our emotional needs acknowledged and addressed?
Could we freely express our feelings without fear of rejection or dismissal?
Did we learn to prioritize others’ needs over our own to ensure safety, commonly known as people-pleasing?
It’s important to recognize that the younger parts of ourselves still require attention and care every day. As adults, we hold the capacity and responsibility to nurture our inner child, providing the love, validation, and protection that may have been lacking from our caregivers. This isn’t to blame our caregivers but to reconnect with our inner child, offering them the sense of belonging, safety, and attention they deserve.
Seeking external validation before establishing it within ourselves can leave us vulnerable to potential abuse, manipulation, and disappointment. By acknowledging and tending to our inner child’s needs, we create a foundation of self-love and resilience that empowers us to navigate life’s challenges with greater strength and clarity.
Grief – Feeling Our Feelings –
Many of us have been conditioned to avoid confronting our feelings, leaving us disconnected from what we truly feel. Fear often accompanies this avoidance, as we are unsure of how to navigate and process our feelings. There’s a common misconception that once we allow ourselves to feel sadness, it will consume us indefinitely. That feeling is weak. These misconceptions are not true.
When we courageously connect with our hearts and acknowledge the sensations of sadness within our bodies, we initiate the process of healing. By allowing ourselves to experience and process these feelings, we create space for joy to enter our lives. It’s crucial to recognize that the stories we create around our sadness can keep us stuck. Therefore, learning to detach from these stories and redirect our focus back to the physical sensations of sadness in our bodies is essential.
Why do we hold on to these stories? Often, it’s because we’re unaware that they serve as a shield, protecting us from the pain we’re afraid to feel. Remaining in our thoughts and detached from our bodily sensations can provide temporary relief, but eventually, the suppressed emotions demand our attention.
It’s a brave and necessary journey to reconnect with our feelings and honor them as integral parts of our human experience. Through this process, we can release the hold of sadness and welcome a greater sense of peace and fulfillment into our lives.
Faith and Trust –
Discovering and deepening the connection with your higher power, whether it’s God, the Universe, or any other belief system, is so important. It’s about understanding what this connection means to you personally and nurturing it to enrich your relationship with yourself and your spirituality. As this knowing strengthens, it gradually diminishes the fear that often holds us from taking risks and embracing our life’s purpose.
We are inherently divine beings, inherently good by virtue of our existence alone. Learning this fundamental truth is the groundwork for a profound understanding that we are consistently cared for by the universe. This isn’t just a belief but a tangible reality. There is evidence of this truth all around us and instances in our lives where things align in our favor. I urge you to reflect on these occurrences and write how they show up in your daily life. Once you set the intention to recognize them, they become more apparent, reinforcing the notion that we possess within us the capability to navigate life’s challenges and find our own solutions.
This realization empowers us to stop seeking external saving and instead embrace the power within ourselves and the divine. By embodying this truth, we free ourselves from the search of others rescuing us, creating relationships founded on genuine connection rather than dependency. This shift is liberating because it redirects our focus from seeking happiness outside ourselves to cultivating it within. When we prioritize self-fulfillment, we lay the groundwork for meaningful and nourishing relationships that complement rather than complete us. In essence, we become the primary source of our own happiness, radiating joy, love, and peace, like the cake itself, with healthy relationships serving as the icing on top.
Want to learn more?
Dana will be facilitating an Online Workshop on March 23rd, 2024
Register today!
