Figure It Out is Not a Step

My recovery lies in being true to myself and to my Higher Power

The promise of our program is that when we are diligent in working the program, we will achieve recovery over personal problems of codependence. This occurs differently for everyone.
A common denominator is that codependents who work and follow the program increase their own spirituality.

Adapted from the Newcomer’s Handbook

“I just need to figure it out”, “If I can figure out what to do…” Sound familiar? Most of us have said things like this at one time or another in our recovery journey.

The 12 Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous are the way we find serenity in our lives. Steps 1-10, help us shift the focus from others to the God of our understanding, a power greater than ourselves.

It begins with admitting where we are powerless and where we actually have power. We identify how our lives become unmanageable when we try to control the uncontrollable and fix the unfixable. We learn that “if I am not the problem, there is no solution.” Step 2 opens us up to the possibility that there may be another way to live and we take time to define our own personal concepts of spirituality and a Higher Power. The decision we make in Step 3 is our way of becoming willing to turn away from our old ways of doing things. The key here is simply to make a decision. We are choosing to surrender to our Higher Power, however we define that power to be for us. The how of turning our will and life over is up to our Higher Power. So next we can begin to clear away the blockages to our peace and happiness, the things that keep us stuck…our codependent behaviors, beliefs and patterns… by working through Steps 4-10.

In Step 11, we can now discover what it is our Higher Power wants us to do. God brings us experiences that we can learn from and which may help us to deepen our recovery. We pray only for God’s will for us and the power to carry that out… even in times when we desperately want our own will. Prayer (talking to God) and mediation (listening to God) help us to grow spiritually and to continually improve our conscious contact with God.

We allow time for our spirituality to develop. It unfolds as a result of the Steps, not by trying harder or “figuring it out” but by letting go little by little. We learn to let our Higher Power do for us what we can’t do for ourselves. By practicing and using the tools of the program, the Steps, Traditions, meetings, fellowship, sponsorship, service, literature, conscious contact, affirmations and more… we see the 12 Promises of the program come true in our lives.

Step Three Prayer 
In this moment, I can choose my own Higher Power. I can set aside all the old beliefs about who I am not and be who I am—a child of God. I can remind myself that a faith in a Higher Power becomes a faith in me, and that my recovery lies in being true to myself and to my Higher Power.

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